Forgive them

Forgiveness. One of the hardest topics (at least for me). But it’s another one of those things that God is working on me with.

So, I said in my last blog, that forgiveness was going to be my next topic because it really is a BIG deal. Then I was having a conversation with my mom and sister, and the topic was brought up again. Then once more in my private time with the Lord. The subject can be a little uncomfortable, but it’s important, so let’s talk about it!

If you think about it, forgiveness is a HUGE part of our faith. As Christians, we believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. We have been forgiven and will spend eternity with Christ! (AMEN)

He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:14

Jesus dying on the cross for our sins allowed us to have a personal relationship with Christ. All our transgressions have been cleared! There was no way a Holy God would allow us to enter into his presence marked by sin, so our transgressions were taken care of at the Cross. We have been forgiven. Pardoned. Shown mercy. Set free. Given grace. Restored. Welcomed back. Given a clean slate. Not just once, but each and every time we commit an offense. That’s deep ya’ll. 😱

According to the Oxford Dictionary (google), to forgive means to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. It also adds, to cancel a debt.

So why do we struggle so hard with forgiveness? It seems like it should be simple. In my mind, when I think about Jesus forgiving our sins, we should easily be able to show that same forgiveness towards others. But it doesn’t work that simple most times.

Sometimes the offense just seems too great. Sometimes the person doesn’t apologize. Sometimes there is no changed behavior. Sometimes people offend you a second and third time. Sometimes the enemy will convince you that your grudge is valid.  Sometimes we feel entitled.

Which brings me to a book I read with my discipleship group called “Enemies of the Heart” by Andy Stanley. (Highly recommended) One of the four enemies of the heart is anger. Andy goes on to explain that we are angry because we didn’t get what we wanted or what we think we deserved and behind every angry person, is a hurt person. That person is hurt because someone took “something” from them.  The book later leads us to the remedy for anger, which is forgiveness.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

To forgive, in biblical terms, means to cancel a debt, just as the Lord has cancelled our debt! (AMEN)

So first as foremost, we must forgive others because the Lord has forgiven us. Forgiving others is what makes us more like Christ. The concept of forgiveness is sooooo important to God because it is mentioned so many times throughout the Bible. Having bitterness and anger causes our hearts to harden. With a hardened heart, we begin to despise the Word of God and fall into sin, and we know that sin separates us from God.

But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. Isaiah 59:2

Which leads to my next point. I was seeking God in prayer and a verse came to mind:

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…..” Mark 11:24

In my mind, I started to think, “Okay Lord, I have been asking and not receiving (hearing) anything. So, I went to find it in my Bible so I could read the entire scripture. If you continue to read verse 25, it reads “…..And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you of your sins.”

And that’s when it dawned on me. The unforgiveness in my heart had caused a separation between me and God. I thought I was waiting on God, when really God was waiting on me. In order to receive what I needed from the Lord, I needed to address the unforgiveness in my heart…

I had to take inventory of my heart. Towards who am I harboring ill-feelings towards?  Who is it that I feel “owes” me something? Who has hurt me that I have not forgiven? What steps do I need to take to forgive?

Maybe for some it’s a conversation. Maybe it’s therapy. Maybe it’s yourself you need to forgive. Maybe it’s releasing something and allowing God to heal your broken heart. Maybe it’s trusting that a relationship with Christ is more important than trying to get even with someone.

Forgiveness is always a process. It takes time, and it’s something that I am working through personally. But a few things that God has shown me so far is that:

1. Daily we knowingly sin against God, and yet he still loves us and accepts. He is always waiting patiently for us to return to Him.

2. We will only give an account for ourselves when we stand before God. When he calls us to something (forgiveness, in this case), he expects our obedience. No matter what others may think or what we think they “deserve.”

3. God shows us both grace and mercy. Why do we think others shouldn’t receive it?

4. God wants to have a relationship with us, but unforgiveness is one way to block that communication. Is the anger in your heart worth missing out on a true relationship with the Father?

5. Forgiveness does not mean acceptance of mistreatment; forgiveness simply means the debt has been cancelled.

There may or may not be a pt2 to this topic at some point.

My Prayer for us all:

Thank you for the gift of forgiveness. Thank you for your grace and mercy towards me while I was in my own transgressions. When I deserved nothing, you sent your Son to die for my sins so that I could have a personal relationship with you. Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me. Illuminate those people in my life who I have not forgiven. I trust that your way is better than mine and I pray that in your strength I will be able to love as you love me. In my weakness, I know your power is perfect, and where I lack, you supply. Thank you for Word. Amen.

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