Handling Hurt and Rejection: Identity

Rejection- a refusal to accept, approve, or support something

I hadn’t really considered how I handle rejection until recently. I never thought I mishandled rejection until within the last year because I’m typically laid-back about things. There are many ways we can experience rejection. We can be rejected in relationships, including parents, relatives, friendships, and spouses/dating. There can be rejection in our careers, in our businesses, from ourselves and within society.  (I read an article that said the worst type of rejection in the culture today is “ghosting”. That’s interesting 🫠) Most people can remember times when they were kids, and they faced rejection. When we get rejected, we feel sad, misunderstood, and confused. Sometimes the rejection is mild and other times we take that rejection very personal, and it alters how we move forward because it crushes both our confidence and self-esteem.

There are many stories of rejection in the Bible, as we know Jesus himself was rejected by his family and the people. He was rejected by those who were a part of his closest group.  Joseph was rejected by his brothers. Because of our rejection towards God, is why we needed Jesus in the first place. We rejected God’s love and his commandments for our life, and that sin led to separation. But once Jesus died on the cross, we are now invited to be sons and daughters of Christ. He has adopted us into his family as heirs.

Ephesians 1:4-5 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will…

For me, being told “no” or simply dealing with dismissive situations caused me to shrink. When others don’t perceive us correctly or embrace us, we then move forward minimizing who we are and wanting to play it safe! We don’t want to put ourselves in the place to feel rejected again. I can see a pattern of that shrinking throughout my life. Times when I should of spoke up, but because I didn’t want to be rejected, I didn’t say anything.  Times when I should have gone for a certain job or promotion but didn’t because of the fear of being told “no”. Times when I simply didn’t show up as my true, authentic self. Rejection can affect the way we move through life, but only if we allow it.

Learning to push through those feelings of sadness and rejection is important. God has a purpose for all of us, but when we shrink and hold ourselves back, we can miss out on the very opportunity that God has prepared for us. God calls us to stand firm in faith and trust that he is always working behind the scenes. So whatever “no” you got was for a reason. You are still predestined. If God called you to it, that “no” is all a part of God’s greater plan for your life. When Jesus was rejected, he did not stop, he continued on with his mission. We know that rejection is only redirection.

When dealing with rejection, we must come back to the fundamental truth that our identity is found in Christ, not in our situation or what someone else wants to label us. Rejection can cause us to question our identity. In the eyes of God, we are accepted. We are loved. We are chosen.

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

 As humans, we naturally want to belong and be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Think about it, we have so many different social clubs, organizations, and associations that we can be members of in society. We naturally like the idea of being amongst others and long for relationship. But as the above verse states, we can be confident that we are a part of God’s royal priesthood, we are called his children, his friend, his people. There is no better membership we can have better than being a member of God’s chosen people!

Romans 8:16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

So when dealing with different forms of rejection, it is important to not let us lose sight of who we are in Christ. When it seems as if no one sees us, we can be certain that God does. In Genesis 16, God reminded Hagar that he cared about her even though she had been rejected and mistreated by Sarai. She gave him the name “El Roi”, The God who sees me.

Genesis 16:13 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

We will experience rejection in life, but we can stand on the truth that we are exactly who God says we are. We can not let our feelings keep us from walking in purpose on purpose. 🤎

Isaiah 41: 9-10 I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.