Sweet Endings: Grieving Well & Moving On

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

• Grief- a response to a loss, an emotion

• Grieving- the way we deal with grief, the process

  
  

When we think about grief, it is normally associated with losing a loved one. But grief is actually the emotion associated with any loss. The effects of losing someone or something (whether actual or imaginary) can cause major life changes and internal distress. There are many things that we could lose including loved ones, relationships, jobs, hope and motivation. In addition, we can grieve things that are even more personable to us including:

• old relationships (platonic, romantic, or familial),

• dreams that didn’t come to past,

• our own sinful ways,

• life experiences that didn’t survive like we thought,

• betrayal,

• seasons of life

• or any other hardship we experience that causes a disconnection.

  
  

Anytime we experience detachment or when a connection is broken, we grief that which is lost. Recently I discovered that it is important that we grieve well. If we don’t grieve well and work through our emotions, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of hopelessness. To grieve well means that we process our emotions and move on in a healthy way. Culture always pushes the narrative that you must quickly cut off, move on grudgingly, do better next time; all the things that seem like a quick fix. But the Lord doesn’t call us to quick fixes. Tough times allow us to build stronger relationships with Christ and it allows Him to mold our character. He calls us to do the hard work and grow through things. This leads us to look more and more like him every day.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

God said in his Word that there is a time for everything. Specifically, he says “there is a time to plant and a time to uproot. A time to mourn and a time to dance.” This means there will be times when things will come to an end. Some of those endings will cause grief.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

In the beginning stages of grief, the emotion is accompanied by hurt, sadness, loneliness, and anger. But it is in this place, that God wants to meet us. In my previous blog post I talked about entering my 30’s and how I thought I was supposed to be further in life by now. I had to grieve that. I had to grieve the fact that my life was different than I expected. More-so, I had to grieve the fact that nope I’m not married, no children, and not exactly at my “destination” as planned.  Because a lot of things weren’t as I imagined, I felt like I lost time and like I lost the moment. It was in that place that my relationship with God grew stronger. He reminded me that he is a redeemer. God being the Great Redeemer means he restores, buys back, and repairs that which is broken. I allowed God into my situation and was honest about my feelings. His promises were a reminder, that He faithful.

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. Psalm 77:14-15

Grief is a part of the healing process. The first step is to be honest that you are grieving. We have to be honest that something we once had, is now gone. What is that one thing that once was, but no longer is? What loss is trying to steal your joy?  It’s okay to feel. He wants to meet us right where we are.

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

After we are honest about our feelings, we allow the grief to pull us towards God. We must submit our sadness, loss, and let down to God. We can be open with our Heavenly Father about how we feel. He will comfort us. The Holy Spirit is our comforter. We must trust God with the feelings and continue to seek things that are of Christ. God can repair your broken heart.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

Jesus himself both grieved and bore our griefs when he came down to earth. He knows what it feels like first-hand to experience grief.

Grief doesn’t have to lead to condemnation. Just because a chapter ended, does not have to mean negativity and harsh feelings. A loss is only a loss if we don’t allow it to become a gain. Our grief eventually leads us to hope.  

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelations 21:4-5

God is always up to something. Closing a chapter is hard. Sometimes we hold on tightly simply out of comfortability. When one door closes, another one will open. When one season ends, another one is beginning. Looking back too long will cause you to miss what God is doing right in front of you! Lean into God in your grief.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19

I read a quote that said “ The past is a closed door, the present is an open one, the future is an approaching one.” Learn from the past, live in the future, and get ready for what is ahead.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

🤎